#honestly though if you're still following this blog i don't know what you're looking for if NOT long posts

[kpop---scenarios]

Compromised (5)

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Warning: Betrayal...

Word Count: 1.5k

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon @dwaekkiiracha @rylea08 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @satosugu4l @iovecb97 @lordmaahes-nsc @sailorkoss @minh0scat @pixie0627 @50-husbands @jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog @stanskzot8 @jisunglyricist @bangchannie97lov @armystay89 @machaandlofi

@silly250 @tsunderelino @1810cl @neyangi @gloriajovicc

Previous Chapters

Later in the day you ended up in the living room surrounded by 8 men, Chan included as you're interrogated about what you did to Jopok, or what you could possibly know about them.

“Y/N, dammit. I need you to think a little fucking harder.” one of Chan's guys yells. You're pretty sure his name is Hyunjin. And even though Hyunjin was extremely attractive, as they all were, you needed him to be a little nicer to you. This shit was traumatic.

“I'm sorry, my brain is fried. I'm exhausted, I'm shaken up and I'm scared. You might be used to all of this shit, but I am not used to having guns shoved in my face and bullets flying around all willy nilly.” You snap.

Han and Changbin burst out laughing. You can't help but smile at Han stomping his feet as he smacks Changbin, them both laughing and leaning into each other.

“Focus.” Hyunjin snaps at the two. “Has anyone new come up to you in the last few months? Spoken to you? Anything?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No, nothing. I've been with Chan for the most part, and if I'm not I'm at home, or work.” You sigh.

“What do you do for work?” He asks.

“Legal assistant.”

“Have you had any Jopok cases?” Chan asks, rubbing your arm. You don't pull away from him like you knew you should. You were confused by everything that was going on with him but he was your one comfort currently and you needed that and despite everything, you still trusted him.

“I don't know anyone there.” You sigh. “It's not like there's ‘Jopok Case’ written on any of the documents.”

“For fuck sakes.” Hyunjin snaps. “You want our help, you're going to need to think a little fucking harder here Y/N.”

“Hey!” Chan yells, standing up, partially standing in front of you. “She's trying her best. She's fucking scared, give her some god damn time.”

Hyunjin throws his hands in the air, muttering some hurtful words as he storms out of the room.

“Look, I'm gonna go out, do some rounds and see what I can find out.” Chan announces, standing up.

“Chan.” You say, grabbing onto his wrist. “Please don't go.” You whisper.

“Don't worry baby, I'll be safe.” He smiles, pressing a small kiss to your lips. “They'll take care of you, promise.”

Chan walks away and out the door, leaving you with six men you barely know, but before you can say anything, Hyunjin comes back into the room, looking around at everyone, but avoiding eye contact with you.

“Changbin, Felix, Seungmin, and Minho come with me. Han and Jeongin, you two watch over the girl.” He says, motioning for the other ones to follow him. The rest get up, leaving you with Han and Jeongin, who are looking at each other, nodding before looking back at you.

“I gotta take this phone call.” Jeongin smiles, walking out of the room.

“I'm sorry about Hyunjin.” Han says, giving you a half smile. “He can be really intense sometimes.”

“Yeah.” You chuckle. “I noticed that. I'm sorry I wasn't more help… this has all just been…” You pause. “Alot.”

“I can imagine.” Han chuckles, looking past you for a split second before he looks back at you. “Do you want to take a walk? I can show you a spot I go to try and decompress after a tough day.” He suggests.

“Honestly, that sounds great.” You smile, getting up to follow Han. As the two of you walk towards the front door, Jeongin joins the two of you, walking behind you and following you out the door.

“Such a beautiful property.” You murmur looking around as the three of you walk towards the woods.

“It is. No one is around for miles.” Jeongin says. Your stomach turns as the little voice in your head tells you to stop and turn back.

“I um, I need to use the bathroom.” You say, stopping in your tracks.

“It's just right up here.” Han says, pointing into the woods.

“Maybe later, I really have to go.” You say, turning around. You start to walk away when you feel a hand on your wrist.

“Stop.” Jeongin snaps. He turns you around, facing you towards the woods, where you see four masked men walk out onto the grass, all of them pointing guns at you.

“What… what's going on?” You ask.

“Jopok is looking for you. You can't run from them, Y/N.” Jeongin says. He leans into you, his lips close to your ear. “This was our way in. It's nothing personal.” He smiles, standing back up. He looks at two of the men, harshly pushing you towards them, making you fall to the ground.

“Take her.” Jeongin says. “Han, let's go.”

Two of the four men grab you, dragging you back into the woods as you try to fight, try to scream and plead for Jeongin or Han to help you but you're dragged further and further into the woods while you watch Han and Jeongin walk back towards the house, completely ignoring your pleas for help.

**

“Y/N, baby?” Chan calls out, checking the living room right as he walks into the house. The other men return home mere minutes after him, watching him go from room to room trying to find you.

“Did you find anything out?” Hyunjin asks.

“Yeah, just let me find Y/N first.” He says, walking towards the stairs to check his own room.

“She's not up there.” Han sighs, walking into the living room.

“What the fuck do you mean?” Chan snaps.

“She was scared. She got into her own head and said she was going home.” Han sighs.

“We tried to stop her, Chan. We really did. But she said she didn't trust you anymore… you weren't the man she fell for and she needed to go.” Jeongin pipes up.

“I tried to reason with her but she wouldn't listen. She made up her mind and said that she had to go.” Han explains.

“I have to find her. She's not fucking safe!” Chan yells, rushing towards the door.

“Yo, Chan, you can't risk being found out!” Han says, walking towards Chan. “Let us go to her apartment. Text me the address and if she's there we'll bring her back.”

“You couldn't even get her to stay!” Chan yells. “How can you get her back?”

“We'll figure it out. I promise, We'll do our best to find her.” Jeongin smiles, patting Chan on the shoulder. He sinks to the floor, holding his head in his hands and Jeongin and Han walk away.

“Please. Please bring her back.” He murmurs. Jeongin and Han walk away from his pleas, just like they did yours.

**

“The fuck are we gonna tell him?” Jeongin murmurs, walking through your empty apartment, going through your things, looking in all your cupboards and drawers as they kill time.

“We can't tell him Jokpok has her, he'll go after them.” Han sighs. “We'll tell him that she wasn't here when we got here. That there were clothes thrown all around and it looked like she packed a bag and left town?” He suggests.

“That's good. Yeah, that might work.” Jeongin laughs. “He can't find out about this.”

“No, at least not until the switch is complete. We need the protection of the Jopok before he can find out or they'll all fucking kill us.” Han says.

“No matter what.” Jeongin starts. “No one can know we gave Y/N to them.”

“Agreed.”

A few hours later, the two men walked back into the house and walked into the living room where Chan sat as he impatiently waited for his two, what he considered brothers, to walk in.

“Where is she!?” He yells, getting off the couch.

“There were clothes all over the place. Empty drawers… Empty cupboards… it looks like she took off.” Jeongin sighs.

“Maybe it's for the best?” Han suggests.

“How the fuck is that for the best?” Chan snaps. “She has no idea what or who she's running from. She cant fucking protect herself! Tell me, how the fuck is that the better option?”

“It's not. What the fuck, Han?” Felix snaps. “We'll find her.”

“We better. She'll die if they catch her.”

**

“Someone!” You cry out. “Please! Someone help me!” Your arms are tied tightly behind your back, your ankles tied tightly together. You were panicking, rightfully so as you tried to come up with some sort of possible solution to get the fuck out of there.

Your face burned from the hits you had gotten while trying to fight some of them off earlier. You tried your fucking hardest to get out of the almost inhuman grip that had on your body but you were exhausted. You just wanted to go home. You wanted Chan. You needed him to find out you were here, you needed him to come save you. He would do that, right?

“I don't know anything!” You scream, tears streaming down your face. “Just let me out!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Someone screams from outside the locked door. You can hear the deadbolt click before the door opens, in walking a familiar man.

You gasp as he walks in, his hands in his pockets.

“It's you?”

[alphajocklover]

Hey, um, I'm a really tall, really skinny gay guy. People have always told me that I could be really athletic if I wanted to, but no matter how much I eat I always stay thin and lanky. I guess it's just my metabolism. Could you help me beef up?

Maybe I just don't have the mindset for it

So, no matter what, even though you desperately want to, you can’t seem to put on any muscle. Trust me when I tell you that you’re not alone. There are tons of people who look at their body and wish they were different, and there are just as many who do what they can to change and find it's just not enough. That's part of why transformation blogs exist after all. The fantasy of getting your dream body without all the hassle. Some people say that those who have trouble doing this just need to work harder, or are lazy, but usually it has more to do with genetics and metabolism than anything else. Getting a body like the ones in my post is possible without magic and reality warping apps, but it is very difficult and not possible for everyone. So, your request brings up an interesting idea: what would happen if I changed you mentally and left your body alone? Would the right mindset really change that much? Well, let's see.

It shouldn’t be hard to change you mentally. I won’t even go into how. Maybe I used some magic, or nano bots, or something else from my increasingly large collection of jock transformation methods. Honestly the how isn’t really important to this experiment. It’s what happens next that we want to focus on. Because now, mentally, you’re a jock. I didn’t entirely rewrite your identity, so you’re still you, just a jock version of yourself. You’re dumber, simpler. You love sports and working out, and obsess about getting massive muscles. You’re the stereotypical jock… except you're skinny as a bean pole. The new you can’t just accept that of course. He wants to be huge. He works out like crazy, follows all the tips, takes every supplement and tries every protein powder he can find, all to chase the version of you he knows he can be. So… does it work? Does the new you get a jock body? The answer is fairly boring: kind of. An increased dedication to exercise and a passion for it is sure to make a big difference, and you end up putting on dozens of pounds of muscle, but since I didn’t change your body, you still have to deal with the genetics life has dealt you. You get huge, but you don’t get as big as some of the other gym goers. You’re a jock, but you’re not inhumanly massive. You’re definitely a total stud, but it takes quite some time for you to get where you want to be. I’m not knocking hard work and dedication, but they’re not the only factors and it’s ok to acknowledge that. You may never get as big as you dream… but that's not really why you do it anymore. You’re a jock now, and a real jock doesn’t just workout because they wanna look good, they do it because they love it! Because it’s their passion! That passion and dedication will take you very far, farther than people get on just good genetics. You may never be the biggest guy in the gym, but you’ll get big and enjoy every second of getting bigger.

Of course, that's coming at it from a more grounded viewpoint, and we’re not here to be grounded are we? You want to live out your jock fantasy, and as thanks for letting me do this little experiment with you, I’ll give your muscles an extra little boost! Looks like you will be the biggest guy in the gym after all! With both the right mindset and the perfect body, you’re going to end up a jock bro god. Hope you enjoy it bro! You're gonna have guys throwing themselves at you after this.

[basket-of-radiants]

Hello there! I appreciate and welcome the reply, as I did and continue to invite discussion. However reading through this, I'm feeling like you kind of missed the point of my post.

(Stating here and now, because I am and forever will be paranoid about coming across as overly aggressive to strangers on the internet, that I am taking your reply in good faith, and my response is similarly being made in good faith.)

This post wasn't intended as a callout of the Kholins, this isn't calling them problematic, this isn't me saying that any of them are acting out of character or that they were wrong to have done any of the stuff they've done. What would/should a character do, or what is/isn't in character for them, or what's easy/difficult in a fictional story is entirely up to the author. None of these characters are real people who are making real choices and responding to real situations. It's not about their decisions, it's about the writer's decision to have them behave in certain ways and then to have the narrative react positively to them. To use the tried Watsonian/Doylist comparison, I'm not really interested in saying "I don't like that Watson did X so he should have done Y instead." Rather, I'm trying to say "when Watson did X, it implies A about the story, so if Doyle wanted to tell a story about B then it would have been more effective to have Watson do Y." Personally as a reader, I do not like how race and class have been treated in this series. A prominent reason is that Sanderson made the decision in Way of Kings to place these topics as prominent themes and cornerstones of the plot. He then continued to revisit these topics throughout the sequels. Then, after having played such an important role in the story thus far, the entire matter of the caste system was seemingly resolved in a manner that I found insultingly easy and straightforward, as I view these themes (especially as they were presented) to have a lot of gravitas. Since this is such a big topic that is so important to the entire Alethi society as presented, I therefore expect it to play a large role in the story. And since the Kholins make up the majority of the main POV characters, that would necessitate exploring these themes through them as well. That is the purpose of this post. You seem to think my issue was that the characters/story didn't make sense to me or weren't believable, but that was never what I was saying. You're arguing against points I was never trying to make.

Like! I agree, the Kholins are not telling the story of race in these books! I 100% understand that. That is the crux of my entire issue and why I wrote this post in the first place.

There is this vision of racism, where it is a problem that is "about" marginalized races, for instance where I live in America racism is considered to be a problem that black communities face and need to overcome. This framing of course ignores the fact that the black communities are not the ones doing the racism, that's being done by largely (although not entirely) white racists and institutions, which is why we can't just leave it to marginalized groups to address race, we also have to demand change from the people actually causing the problems. I don't expect a fantasy series about magical knights to solve one of the most complicated and systemically engrained social issues that humanity faces, but from my read this series did start out with the clear intent to discuss topics of race and class, and then it dropped the ball. It discarded nuance to pretend that complicated issues have easy solutions. However, I find that it's easy to criticize without having actionable solutions in mind, so my post was intended as an exploration into how some of this lost nuance could have been reintegrated into the story.

For instance, for Jasnah. As I thoroughly stated in my initial post, I don't actually have a problem with Jasnah having ended slavery. I do think it could have been done better (see above for specifics) but if that's how Sanderson wants to resolve slavery, fine. The reason why so many other fans were upset at this resolution was because they felt Sanderson was using Jasnah to sweep the entire topic of slavery under the rug without giving the topic the weight it deserved, and I agree with that criticism as well. I'm not arguing that it doesn't make sense for her to do this if she hadn't shown slaves any sympathy prior; I'm arguing that it would have made for a much stronger narrative if she had.

As to your specific points, I don't want to linger too much here, but I would like to briefly disagree. There is no such thing as absolute power. The reason that doesn't exist in the real world is because no leader has or ever will rule alone. Even for a dictator, it's literally not possible to run an empire without delegating, and once you've delegated you've split your power. Furthermore most of your points as to why she didn't face more backlash, while plausible, are all your own extrapolations and are not explicitly corroborated by the text. I'd imagine that all of the same arguments could be made for why the humans would hold on even tighter to whatever slaves they had left. Ultimately however, I'm not interested in debating the logistics of a fictional world unless the author clearly highlights them as relevant to the story he's telling.

I do want to push back a little bit on the notion that the Kholins themselves aren't racist. I definitely don't believe that all white people are inherently racist and must atone for the sin of being white or anything like that. But I think if someone had a lot of personal acquaintances who kept slaves and never really cared much one way or the other, then unless they're an equal-opportunity extreme misanthrope I think I could pretty safely say that that person specifically is quite racist. It doesn't matter if Adolin is nice or not to the specific darkeyes he knows and interacts with, on a broader scale if I'm to consider him a good person who cares about others, this is a topic that should be addressed in his story. For Jasnah I can get even more scathing, because she clearly does think about structures of oppression and has written extensive texts on vorin-society feminism, but the fact that she doesn't seem to have any writing regarding the caste system is very much a statement in of itself. Dalinar has a whole arc in the first book about being able to compromise on the topic of slavery for the sake of unity! And I'm supposed to just trust that this is the guy with divine right to lead humanity because he gave all the slaves new jobs afterwards.

And even now, my point is still not to say that the Kholins are #problematic. They are a major institution in a society built off of racial castes, so I don't even think that should need to be said. What I would like is for a story that's willing to really linger on and embrace their contradictions, treat them as flawed and complicated people rather than push them all on the ever-progressing path toward becoming heroic paragons. For a series with such powerful themes regarding facing the past and ones own actions, it's kind of insulting for such a major topic to be entirely overlooked in regards to most of the cast.

I hope all of that helped to better-explain my thinking.

Proposal for Re-working the Kholins’ Character Arcs - a semi-coherent “essay” by me (feat. @akpaley​, thank you for your contributions and for your attempts at editing.)

Hey guys. Different kind of post this time around, compared to my usual brand. It’s time for some fix-it fanfiction masquerading as literary critique. I won’t be using a readmore, I dunno, probably to punish anyone still following this blog or something. So! In this post I’m going to solve the all the issues of racial theming associated with the Kholin family.

I’m often very harsh on the Kholins for benefitting so much from exploitative power structures while doing little to help those below them. But then I’ve also criticized them for actually addressing these very problems in-universe. How can I be upset at them for their inaction and then also be annoyed when Jasnah ends slavery? The short answer to all of this is just that the ways these topics are addressed all feel very inauthentic. For example, in real life history it took over a century of protests, slave revolts, political campaigning, and civil wars to legally end slavery in Europe and America, and abolitionists were met with fierce opposition at every turn. A fictional world need not follow our same historical trajectory, but it still seems a little disingenuous for a monarch to just decide to end it within her first year of power because it doesn’t mesh with her philosophical framework. It’s more like trying to wrap up a subplot than actually address the topic.

Ultimately however, there’s only so far this line of criticism can ever take me because the Kholins are the protagonists and you can’t get rid of them without turning the whole story into something else entirely. And Sanderson shouldn’t have to, these are characters that he created and he’s allowed to tell a story about them. And I actually like a lot of their personalities and arcs and outlooks quite a lot. I do think it’s…unfortunate…to have used slavery and racism as disposable props in a story that ultimately turned out to be about a bunch of royals learning to be better people and saving the world along the way. So I guess what I’m interested in is if there’s a way to keep the premise, keep the characters, keep the general story beats, keep the themes of honor and personal growth, keep the basic structure of everything, and still handle those themes with grace. You know, could this be a compassionate story about addressing racism told from the point of view of nobility? Is such a thing possible?

Well, I’m going to try my best. And I’m going to be imperfect about it, obviously, so if you actually care enough to read all this shit, I welcome discussion and disagreement. 

Jasnah is the most obvious example to point to as being indicative of the problem, but I also think she has the easiest character fixes. She’s already been established as an outspoken dissident on many of her society’s deeply ingrained values. Just add to her atheism and feminism that she’s also always been an outspoken abolitionist. Give her ties to an ongoing reformist movement. Have her lecture Shallan about it in Way of Kings. Make that a reason she’s butted heads with her family so much. I do think it’s poor writing to have a ruler end slavery on a whim, but I won’t deny that having the right person in power can make a huge difference. It’s not as cathartic as having Kaladin lead a slave revolt (or as having Moash destroy society <3) but that doesn’t make it inherently bad so long as the topic itself is still treated with weight. Have her moralistic ideology be firmly pre-established so that when she has to explain why she’s abolishing slavery, her reasoning can be purely pragmatic. The reason she’s moving so fast is because this is a historical point of heightened change, and so her reforms are more likely to work, but if she waits too long and things settle back into a new status quo, she may have missed her window. Not to mention, when her nephew comes of age, her own legitimacy as a ruler might be challenged, so she needs to do as much as she can in what may be end up being a short reign. As a character, Jasnah has always been able to girlboss her way past political realities through sheer force of personality, and that’s great and all, but I think it heightens her character’s competence if she does have to deal with real backlash, not just to her but to her policies as well. The narrative doesn’t even need to linger on her opposition, but acknowledging it and acknowledging that she’s simply a member of a preexisting and ongoing movement would have done wonders to portray slavery as a real and prescient issue. Then again, this is a topic which people have fought and continue to fight wars over, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable for her to have receive major backlash either; perhaps when the Kholins hear in Words of Radiance that she was assassinated, the news could come as tragic but not entirely unexpected so as to imply that her opposition has attempted such in the past. All this is to say, I don’t think it’s at all wrong for Jasnah to do what she did. I also don’t think her entire stance on abolitionism should have come down to a comment where she tells her uncle she’s trying to rule according to ethically consistent values. The fact that slavery was insultingly easy to end not only delegitimizes is as a topic worthy of discussion, but also is a really scathing indictment of literally everyone else in the ruling class who didn’t even think to try.

Jasnah done, easy, Dalinar next.

Dalinar is probably the most complicated character for me to discuss and form coherent statements on. He’s just so rife with contradictions down to his core. That’s probably why I continue to like him so much, why he’s still my favorite, even though I still consider him to be a Bad Person over all. I think deep down I’ll always lean a bit too pacifistic ideologically to ever consider a warlord/general to be a good person, no matter how honorable he may be or how much growth he may undergo. Don’t get me wrong, I still do love his growth. Dalinar is characterized by his constant change and forward momentum, even moreso than the rest of the cast. So for discussing him, at what point can I point to him and say “this is Dalinar, this is who he is, this is what he believes and what he cares about”? Of course, during any point in his arc, you’re going to have to grapple with the fact that all of his lofty rhetoric about honor and striving for personal betterment is ultimately going to be pretty useless to all the people whose lives he’s meaninglessly thrown away across his military career. For me personally, when I talk about his character I like to take the end-of-oathbringer approach, where I acknowledge everything he did in the past as Blackthorn, I agree that it was pretty fucked up, and I forgive him and grant him a clean slate. All this to say that even if I’m judging him purely by his behavior as the current Dalinar within the present day continuity of the books, he’s still a massive hypocrite with horrific amounts of blood on his hands which he’s never even bothered to consider. I dunno, when I first read Way of Kings and I first got to meet this general who’s leading an army in a literal genocide campaign, I sort of figured he’d get some kind of “wait am I the bad guy” moment at some point in the future. And he did get a moment in Oathbringer where he has to fully confront his guilt over past actions, it was great, I really really loved it! But it was also all about actions he took before the series even started, so I guess wiping out the listeners wasn’t a sin he thought needed any atonement. I’m not going to get into the narrative’s treatment of singers and listeners on this post (for no other reason than because I have waaaaaaay too much to say there) but the point I’m getting at is that however good Dalinar’s growth is and whatever direction it takes, it’s always going to have poisonous roots to me. And his treatment of class/racial issues is no different. 

Fixing Dalinar is going to take a lot of what Dalinar does best: introspection. In Way of Kings, Dalinar dislikes how Sadeas treats his bridgemen because he believes it to be dishonorable, because he believes Sadeas is forcing others into a situation that he himself would never put himself into. He also has various sympathetic reflections here and there about how sad it is when soldiers die, and about how without the benefit of the Thrill, violence is actually kind of bad. You know how it goes. But I don’t think he ever put himself at risk to actually help or protect any of the people who are dying. Whether he wants to end the war or not, he still continues to participate in it. And he’s still willing to set aside the lives of literally everyone beneath him so he can pursue his dream of unity. The book ends with Kaladin and the rest of bridge four saving him and Adolin, and in gratitude, he purchases their freedom and gives them honored positions in his household. You know, because he’s so honorable. Everyone loves this scene, so I’m going to make it the catalyst for Dalinar’s new and improved character development. The problem with saying Kaladin helped Dalinar so Dalinar helped Kaladin is that when I’m being reductive and uncharitable (like I’m being right now), I can argue that their relationship basically started as a quid pro quo. This scene is meant to prove that Dalinar really is the most honorable person in Alethkar, just as Syl thought, only it doesn’t actually do that. See I don’t actually want Dalinar to start treating Kaladin as an equal. I want Dalinar to, in that moment, realize that Kaladin is better than him. That for all of his pontificating about honor, he would have never even considered risking his own life and the lives of his own family to rescue a bunch of bridgemen. I want him to see Kaladin’s honor, and rather than be validated in his beliefs, I want him to be thoroughly humbled. Let him spend all next book reflecting on all the lives of darkeyes he’s destroyed. Let it shame him, as Evi’s death shamed him. He already flirts with these lines of thought, and he already has an arc about confronting his past actions. Let the racial injustices he’s participated in be a part of that. Let him abandon his books and traditions instead look to Kaladin to learn what honor truly means. I don’t know how any of this would translate to his actions, because if we’re being honest his ideals are already quite incongruous with his actions, but the fact that he manages to have such strong theming regardless makes me think maybe that’s okay. I guess ultimately it would be enough for me if his character, as someone who symbolizes the ideals of a nation, was able to look at a darkeyes publicly be a follower rather than always trying to lead by his own personal example.

That’s Dalinar. Elhokar next?

I actually don’t think there’s too much wrong with Elhokar’s writing, especially in the first two books where a much greater emphasis on these themes were placed. He’s not a protagonist and we the audience aren’t supposed to endorse his actions. Most of what I’d change about his story is more about Kaladin and Moash than it is about him. I definitely don’t love that he can throw away the lives of his own people by the thousands in the genocide campaign that was the vengeance war, and then have the narrative just ignore all that in favor of him being sad about his own incompetence. If Elhokar is meant to be a sympathetic character, then when he calls himself a bad king, that’s what he should be thinking about, the number of lives he’s wasted over these years. I actually like him a lot more as a less sympathetic character, and I think I would have preferred if in oathbringer the narrative and the other characters would have stopped making so many excuses for him. Back to Kaladin and Moash, those are the two characters defined by their experiences as members of the downtrodden caste, so I personally sort of judge the problematic-ness of the whole story by how they get treated. Everyone loves to talk about how those two are foils. So. In order to strengthen Kaladin and Moash’s characters, either Elhokar needs to be as much of a monster as Amaram, or Amaram needs to be just as sympathetic and conflicted and having-of-a-toddler as Elhokar. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love the trope of finding at the end of a revenge quest that the person you hated has changed and grown. But I hate how this means that Moash’s hatred is wrong and unjustified, whereas Kaladin’s is validated at every turn. I don’t actually dislike Elhokar. I mean I think he’s a bad person, but I like a lot of characters who are bad people. I just think that if this story really wants to grapple with class and race (because it sure brings them up a lot for a story that doesn’t want to talk about them), then Moash is a much more important character than him, with a lot more to add to that kind of discussion, which is why I think Elhokar’s characterization would have to come second to Moash’s development. (Obviously if this series were being reworked to be better on this topic, Moash would have to be written with a lot more compassion in general, but this post isn’t about him.)

Intermission time. Gavilar.

Gavilar is already perfect, 10/10, great character all around, what a guy, no notes, no wonder he’s so universally beloved among all of the fans, social justice icon.

Okay onto Navani.

I may not be the best person to talk about Navani. She has never been a favorite character of mine, and so compared to the others I haven’t thought as much about her values or the way she thinks or the narrative impacts of her actions. Someone who has more love for her would probably write better criticisms of her. (I’m going to reject any premise that falls along the lines of “Navani isn’t racist because she feels X,” but I’m not wholly confident in my analysis here, and I welcome any good faith critiques both of my own thinking and of her character when come at from other angles.) It’s hard to say where she should have grown from how she starts out viewing darkeyes because I don’t actually know how she starts out viewing darkeyes. I know I’m probably meant to assume she just treats everyone equally because she’s a Good Person on Team Good Guys, but it’s hard to just accept that she had all around good values when she married a warlord and was in love with his more violent brother. I dunno, was her “good guy” status meant to have always been an element of her character, or did she get it secondhand from her association with the new and improved Dalinar? With someone like Adolin, we got to see what shitty values he held at the start of Way of Kings (I’m talking about the Alethi warmongering, not his interest in fashion) but we also got to see how his father gradually won him over throughout the course of the book, and then later on we get to see him develop further on his own. For someone like Navani, I find it strange how she’s always so proactively supportive of Dalinar in everything, even when his own goals and values are in flux. I assume her character is just meant to be super ride or die when it comes to her family, and I do like that in a character, but that also means that she’s been wholly willing to support or at the very least excuse her family’s oppression and exploitation of darkeyes without comment. (See, Lirin is a much better parent than Navani, he would never have let his son start a whole genocidal vengeance war for fun and profit (I say this as if I’m joking but I’m kinda not.)) Some people have reminded me that she was pretty much shut out of the political process by Gavilar and Elhokar, and I agree with that, but I don’t really have any evidence that she would have cared much about darkeyes even if she had been more involved. In general it just seems like the whole topic doesn’t matter much to her. So what I would wish for the narrative would be to lean further into this. Draw attention to her cognitive dissonance and try and make the readers feel conflicted about her as a person. Highlight the fact that she’s willing to overlook the suffering that befalls other families if it means success for her own. I think one of my issues with her is that to me, this is a major (and interesting!) character flaw, but the books never seem to treat it as such. Honestly I think if this were intentional, I’d probably find her character really interesting, but from my reading of the text, I feel that I’m supposed to think of Navani as a generally decent person who’s by and large on the right side of things. The thing is, with the caste system playing such an integral role in their culture, I think she needs to have some sort of feelings about it, or else the fact that she doesn’t should be an issue to overcome. Otherwise she becomes another factor delegitimizing racial oppression as a real and important problem. If she’s a good guy and she doesn’t care about racism, then that’s saying you don’t have to be antiracist to be a good person in this world. 

Probably could have done that one better. I dunno. Leave me angry and hateful comments if I’m totally misrepresenting your favorite character. Moving on.

Adolin already has some great character development across the books. And he already has kind of engaged with this stuff in his story. Unfortunately, that’s less used in the “this person was racist but is becoming better sense” and more used in the sense of “Kaladin learns that #NotAllLighteyes are bad” which is pretty unfortunate for a number of reasons. Especially since, if he actually was going to prove he’s different from other lighteyes, out of all the Kholins I think Adolin is the best candidate for being a full on class traitor. I’m serious, looking back over the events of his plotlines, it would suit him shockingly well while disturbing the overall narrative shockingly little.

Adolin’s current plot is loosely as follows: in Way of Kings he likes all the things someone of his station is supposed to like, clothes, violence, dueling, warfare, swords, hangtime with the guys, all the good stuff. At the beginning of the book he doesn’t understand why old, stuck-up Dalinar can’t just let loose and be a relelntless war-monger like everyone else, but by the end of the book he’s come to understand a certain value to honor and thus has begun to become a better person himself. Words of Radiance has him lose his popularity, fall out of favor with all of his friends, grow disillusioned with his society, perform a prison sit-in in solidarity with Kaladin, and murder Sadeas. Most of this is done again, because of his father, and how Adolin now wants to help and support him and his ideals. In Oathbringer he mostly isn’t involved in courtly politics, being away on a mission for much of it, but he does make a pretty big move by rejecting the throne. In Rhythm of War we see the schism that’s formed between him and his father until he leaves on another long-distance mission. Summary over. In general I reject the idea that making the Kholins be individually less racist makes for a better, or more nuanced and compassionate discussion of the topic, but if anyone is primed for a “lighteyes learns racism is wrong” character arc, I think it’s Adolin. Imagine him following a bit less in Dalinar’s footsteps and a bit more in Jasnah’s. You almost don’t even have to change any story beats: in getting to know Kaladin, something clicks in Adolin where he realizes that if he wants to treat Kaladin as his equal, he has to treat all darkeyes as equals, and so he realizes to his horror that he and his entire caste of friends and family are all monsters for treating them the way they do. (Actually, there is one plotline in WoR I’d probably scrap, and that’s his slowburn bromance with Kaladin. I mean I get what Sanderson was going for with the ribbing and then eventual friendship, but Kaladin was an absolute stranger who risked his own life to save Adolin and his father from certain death, and so I feel there should probably have been a bit more overt respect upfront there.) In pushing for his newfound belief in equality, he ends up burning through all of his intracaste goodwill and political capital, causing all of his friends to drop him. When he kills Sadeas, it doesn’t have to be about protecting Dalinar or about personal revenge, it could also be that he’s gotten to know Bridge 4 and learned firsthand about the atrocities they’d gone through, and so there’s no way he’d allow such a pioneer of human rights violations to stay in power. In the following books, maybe he’s become so politically toxic due to challenging the very foundations of his own power, his own family has to send him away on missions so he can’t rock the boat too much at home. Maybe refusing the throne was more of a political statement than a personal one, because he’s come to understand that being a ruler means oppressing thousands of others. Maybe this is another form of hypocrisy he criticizes Dalinar for, how Dalinar might claim to value darkeyes but how he still retains power bought with thousands of their corpses. None of this has to modify actual events very much, it just affects the reasons for them. And it would also meaningfully show why he gets to be a “good lighteyes” if he actually engaged with his status and rejected it, knowing it comes at the expense of others.

Okay, enough about that. Renarin maybe?

I won’t say too much about Renarin here, because I’d probably just end up repeating a lot of the same criticisms of how he’s used as a “good lighteyes.” From a narrative standpoint, all those criticisms hold for him as well. You know, he wants to join Bridge Four, and future-villain Moash doesn’t like the idea because he doesn’t trust lighteyes, but Kaladin reassures him that Renarin is a good boy, so don’t worry about it, and everything works out fine in the end, proving that lighteyes are good people just like you and me. This isn’t a problem with him as a person or character, it’s just more of that general theme of “the caste system is fine so long as nice people are at the top” which I clearly think should be interrogated. Thus far, in contrast to the rest of his family, Renarin is very young and has had much less of a political presence, not to mention fewer POV chapters anyway, so I think delving too much deeper here will feel a bit hollow to me.

Does Shallan count as a Kholin? I’d like to talk about her super briefly.

Unpopular opinion, but I actually think Shallan is one of the better characters on the topic of race insofar as how she’s written, especially compared to the other Kholins. But wait, I hear you say, what about all of her dozens of instances of casual racism? Yes, that’s what I’m referring to. I like how Shallan demonstrates how ingrained these harmful ideologies are in their society. I like how every time she has a distasteful thought, we the audience are reminded that racism still exists and even good people will continue to promote it if they don’t view it critically. I like that Shallan is problematic, because their society has problems! At least with her it doesn’t feel like the story’s trying to sweep the fact under the rug. There are plenty of issues with her writing, plenty of jabs at Kaladin that probably shouldn’t have been treated as cute. She’s actually the main character whose racism and classism I see criticized the most. And I think that’s a good thing! My issue with the Kholins isn’t that I think they should all be less racist, my issue is that their positions are inherently oppressive, and it seems as though the narrative doesn’t think that matters so long as deep down they’re good people. When people critique Shallan in specific instances, I tend to see a fair amount of consensus and agreement there, but when I critique the Kholins people will argue with me by pointing out that Dalinar/Adolin/Navani/whoever actually treats darkeyes as equals, so my arguments are invalid. Purely my own anecdotal experience of course, but it tends to make me think that there’s something in Shallan’s writing that’s working right, something that isn’t working for the other lighteyed characters.

Now obviously with all of this, I’m not saying I want these books to have more racism in them. What I’m arguing is that if the books are going to explore the topic (which they do) then they should treat the topic with an appropriate amount of gravity rather than acting as if it can be solved by having aristocrats become nicer people.

If you’re still here with me, thank you for reading, I love you, I hope you enjoyed yourself through my descent further and further into rambly nonsense. If you just scrolled to the bottom, that’s fair enough, there won’t be a tl;dr but you’re welcome for filling your dash with massive text blocks.

[asuyaka]

GUESS WHO'S CLASSES ARE FINALLY OVER GIRLIES💃💃

Damn, it's been a heck of a while since I last came back to this blog--

Anyways! I've been following the new JJK episodes(I am not fine and it's all Mahito's fault.), so to put a bandage on his gap in my chest, how about some reverse comfort shot for our boy Yuuji during the Shibuya arc? Heaven knows he's in need of it. The prompt would be that he's having the meltdown/panic attack after regaining control over his body after Sukuna raised hell on the city(along with all the memories that come with it) and his lover finds him crying on the ground and rushes to comfort him and ground him.

I just want my boy to get a hug goddamn it, Gege won't give him any breaks😭

- Sincerely, '🌈' Anon.

★ - 'm honestly haven't watched the new episode yet (prayin' s'the "I'm you." timeline !!) but, 100% agree! 'm boy needs a break !! (gege is cruel (；′⌒`) )

☆ - Itadori Yuuji x Reader!

♡ - 'm sososososo glad t'see you again 🌈 !! 've lowkey been burnin' out, but 'm glad you're here !! &lt;;33 （〃｀ 3′〃）| listenin' to... Skyfall

Good God— you don't know how you're alive right now.

The stench of curses and blood permeated the air, dried blood from curse users and curses stuck your hair to your face; heavy breaths leaving your lips as you looked around for any familiar faces.

Shibuya is in shambles, nothing more and nothing less. Dead civilians and auxiliary managers litter the streets, and several cars and buildings are smashed and flipped on their sides.

"Fuck," you wheeze, holding onto the scar that stretches to two separate sides of your face.

Your ribs are most definitely bruised or broken— there's no doubt about it. Your ankle is a bit sprained and you can't hear anything from your left ear.

You're really looking for Yuuji, you're lovable, and sometimes (a lot of the time) oblivious boyfriend. It's a bit biased, you know. Though Yuuji is at the top of your priority list, you really just want to find anybody who came to Shibuya with Gojo.

An earth-shattering sound makes its way through your ear(s). You turn around sharply, staring in shock as a few inches away from your foot is completely gone.

There's a presence you've felt ever since you woke up and you more or less guessed it was Sukuna.

If you had moved one step ahead, you would've died by what you assumed was Sukuna's domain.

Sukuna.

Your eyes widen as they stare at the crater formed by the King of Curses' domain. There's no way people aren't dead.

Yuuji.

"Oh fuck, Yuuji?!" Your anxiety goes haywire as you force your body to move. Even though every bone in your body aches in pain, pushed to its limit and beyond during the plethora of curses you've fought, you move.

Your heartbeat accelerates as your breaths get shorter. As fast as you run around the perimeter of the crater, you still haven't found Yuuji. Yuuji and his boyish smile every time you get him a gift, Yuuji, and his airy laugh whenever he sees something that manages to get him just right.

Yuuji and, his adorable love for movies, Yuuji, and his bright demeanor, able to make almost anyone fall under his spell.

Yuuji, who you find scratching at the road with tears falling down his eyes, wailing about how he should be the one to die.

It's right then and there, that your heart breaks.

Forgetting about the pain in your body, you rush over to where Yuuji was a heavy exhale, tears brimming your eyes and throbbing pain coursing through your body.

He turns to look at you with eyes that don't look like your boy, that don't look like Yuuji. He looks as if he's seen a ghost —like he didn't expect someone he knew to still be alive.

"You're alive...?" His voice is hoarse like he's dehydrated. It's missing its usual animated tone, his normal light voice, and his smile — fuck his smile.

"Yuuji," You exhale. "Yuuji, you're alive, fuck— you're alive." You get closer, and your body finally collapses on you. You're able to feel the emotions you forced yourself to push down the minute you stepped into the veil encasing Shibuya.

The hurt when you saw people you hold near to your heart die in front of you, the pain every time you felt your bones cracking, or the feeling of your skin stretching to accommodate the wound that was bound to form a scar stretching across your face.

Yuuji backs away from you, his fingers leaving a bloody trail from where you found him scratching at the road. "No! Get away from me— I'll try and kill you too!"

He'll... try and kill you?

Yuuji hangs his head in his arms as he curls into himself, seemingly trying to make his body as small as normal. "I'm nothing but a murderer! No matter what I do— or what I try to do— I just," He interrupts himself with a hiccup, blood mixed with tears leaking from the bottom of his face.

"I can't help anybody! I killed innocent people, I shouldn't be allowed to live!"

Yuuji continues to cry, his bloody fingers gripping his now dirtied pink hair.

Gently, as to not make him pull away from you, your arms wrap around his body. He refuses, trashing in your hold as he begs for you to let go of him, to distance yourself from him in case Sukuna somehow manages to take control again.

"Yuuji." You say softly, letting your coarse arms run through his hair.

He doesn't respond. Though he isn't struggling to move, he still remains unresponsive. "Yuuji, you aren't a monster."

He shakes his head furiously. "I killed them with my own—"

"Sukuna killed them, not you." You mutter softly. Even though you don't know the whole story, you know Yuuji, your Yuuji, would never kill innocent people.

"Yuuji, you aren't a murderer. You aren't a murderer."

Yuuji sobs into your shoulder, his bloody fingers gripping tightly against your shirt. "I'm sorry— I'm sorry!"

You keep your voice soft, softly running through his hair and rubbing circles on his back as well. "It wasn't your fault, 's okay..."

You reassure him, keep telling him that he wasn't a murderer, that he wouldn't kill innocent people on purpose, and little by little you think he's believing you.

"We, we have to go find everyone else," Yuuji says. His voice is drier if that's possible and his eyes feel so sunken, they don't feel like Yuuji. You don't hold that against him, he just went through a traumatic experience and obviously he isn't going to be the same boy you're used to.

Your shoulder is wet, and Yuuji's blood is staining your back. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Yuuji nods. Though it doesn't feel all the way true, it doesn't feel fake either. You press a tiny peck on his cheek, showing him a smile to let him know that he isn't alone.

As long as you were there with him, he'll never be alone.

"Fushiguro is... is [Name] still alive?" Itadori asks, sitting across from Yuta, divided by their makeshift fireplace.

Fushiguro averts his eyes with a guilty look on his face as he shakes his head.

"Oh."

Itadori Yuuji is alone.

He's lost his best friend, Nobara, his mentor (practically his father), Nanamin, Todo lost his technique because of him, and now, he's lost the one person who he truly felt like he could fall back on.

The one person who saw him at his lowest, and somehow brought him back from that.

"Oh."

He's alone.

And he genuinely doesn't know how he can cope without the help of his lover, his [Name].

[lampiridaes]

# another language

★ — chars ; toya , akito , rui

★ — notes ; HELLO NAGULAT AKO NUNG NAKITA KO TO FHDHFHFFH di ko na-expect na makakatanggap ako ng tagalog req... hindi ako masyadong magaling mag tagalog (native language ko...) PERO hopefully maiintindihan mo ito huhu ... also yes ofc feel free to ask any questions u want! (just not personal ones obv)

★ — notes (2) ; i had a fun time writing this, but i'm rlly rlly nervous abt posting it (╥﹏╥) if i accidentally made a mistake in a few parts, pls don't be harsh with me!

★ — notes (3) ; fem!reader implied for akito , otherwise none!

★ — languages used (keep in mind i used google translate for some + my tagalog isn't good) ; tagalog , italian , korean

★ — shout out to my bbg for helping out with akito's part (she doesn't follow this blog and i hope it stays that way)

★ — requested by ; anon

★ aoyagi toya — tagalog :

oh, he's so confused. of course he knows that you're speaking in another language, yet he doesn't know what you're saying...

so, naturally, he wonders what you're talking about when he accidentally overhears you in a call with your friend one day.

"ang pogi si toya... like jusko sobrang sweet niya sakin baka magka diabetes ako." (rough tl: toya is so handsome... like oh my god he's so sweet to me i might get diabetes.)

... he understood about... 3 words—'toya', 'sweet' and 'diabetes'. and now he's extra puzzled.

toya asked you about it the next day since he doesn't want any misunderstandings between the both of you. which led to you becoming a rather shy mess while explaining what you were talking about.

"oh... i see."

despite the dry response, you could see toya's face lightening up once he realized that you were actually gushing about him, just in a language that he didn't understand.

he definitely researched some cute endearments that night, so don't be surprised if he randomly calls you names like 'mahal' or 'sinta' from now on.

★ shinonome akito — italian:

akito got the idea over time that you were talking affectionately about him in another language, but he would prefer if you admit it yourself. mostly just to tease you, honestly.

with that in mind, he's still a bit surprised when you tell him you love him in another language.

"...ti amo tanto." (rough tl: i love you so much)

"huh?"

"nothing!"

but with how cute and funny his reactions are, how can you stop? his confused look always looks so charming whenever you compliment him.

"sei così carino, sai?" (rough tl: you're so cute, you know?)

"okay, seriously, i don't understand a single thing..."

eventually, he gets tired of your teasing and just translates what you're saying when you're gone. prepare to be surprised with random compliments in your own language by your boyfriend.

"sei la ragazza... più carina che abbia... mai visto..?" (rough tl: you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen)

... even if it could use some work.

★ kamishiro rui — korean :

rui is a sneaky one, so you always make sure to gush about him whenever he's actually away, or if he's asleep.

and in this situation, you thought he was asleep. keyword: thought.

unsurprisingly, it seems like your boyfriend stayed up a bit later tonight to finish an invention. you chuckled softly, finding him endearing as you covered him up with a blanket.

"...너 정말 귀엽다. 잘 자고 있길 바래, 내 사랑." (rough tl: you're so cute. i hope you sleep well, my love.)

rui was actually awake, though. of course, he couldn't understand a thing you said, but that only added to his list of robots to make.

so, weeks passed by after that incident. and something similar happened again, only this time, rui was prepared.

he rested his head on the desk, setting his brand new translator bot nearby to record what you say.

and, to say the least, his experiment did not disappoint! he's never going to let you live this down, either.

just to mess with you a bit, and to let you know he knows about your little secret now, he went up to you the next day, whispering something into your ear.

"내가 귀엽다고 생각해? 네가 더 귀여워." (rough tl: you think i'm cute? you're cuter)

you were so surprised, it's like he took your breath away. you give him a look that basically yells out, 'you know!?' and rui simply nods, with that well-known cat-like smile of his.

[james-is-here]

Felix is looking extra precious and this is what I'm doing with my cuteness aggression. His hair looks so pretty, he looks so pretty and adorable and it's just killing me.

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 who gave me the idea. @heartbinn

Tags: Nn means nickname, Mn calls Felix Pixie, Mentions of Chan and a dash of Seungmin, The shortest amount of sad/comfort, not hurt/comfort though, angst? Maybe if you squint idk. Clingy, Lovey Felix, Vaguely shown that Mn is taller, My love for Felix kinda got in the way so Felix may give off Tiny Precious Bean vibes. The fluffiest of fluff.

You nervously sat in the corner of the lobby. Even though he said you guys could've met up at a cafe, you were worried about fans seeing him. That's the only idol thing you've worried about, other than that he's still your Felix.

You were nervous because you felt really out of place in the JYPE lobby, not because you were nervous to see Felix. He's made sure to send you photos as he grew up away from you and with all the photos, the boy next door got cuter and cuter. He still had your favorite freckles and adorable face.

The recent photo solidified, as if it wasn't solidified already, how much you've grown to love the boy. You don't know when it happened but eventually you realized when he sent you a photo of the first time he dyed his hair. It was a photo of him laughing at something, he just looked so precious and happy and the moment you thought his freckles were cute, you honestly had a little bit of a crisis but that night when he called you to show his hair, looking so excited and happy, you realized the crisis was for nothing and you really did love Felix more than you thought.

A tap on your shoulder snapped you out of your thoughts and nail biting as you looked up. He wore a black beanie, a few hair strands framing his face, and a black mask you could tell he was smiling under. Your whole body relaxed as you stand up and pull the shorter male into your arms, his arms wrapped around your middle as yours around his shoulders. You were still taller than him, you've always loved how fun sized he was.

"Hi Mn!" "Hi Pixie." He giggles softly, nuzzling further into your chest before pulling back, arms still around you while he bounces and the balls of his feet. "I can't believe you're here!! You're actually here! Sorry, Can you tell I'm happy?" He smiles and you laugh. "Yes, I can. I'm glad to see you again, Felix." "Me too. Come on, I really want you to meet the boys." He grabbed your hand but you didn't budge. "Mn?" "I'm already nervous from being in this building alone, I don't know about meeting your group."

"Mn, I know you and you match all of them so perfectly it's crazy. Plus~ You know Chan-Hyung is also from Australia. He loves you." "How?" His face turns red as he laughs softly. "I-I may or may not tell him everything about you...You're my best friend, I wanted my other friends to know about you too." "That's sweet...Okay, let's go." He squeals happily and you follow behind him. "Oh, forgot to mention, Chan is actually in the car too." "Felix!" "I'm sorry!" He laughs and you can't help but smile at him.

Even though he said he wanted you to meet the others, he dragged you to his room once you got to his dorm. Chan was surprisingly really easy to converse with the whole car ride, might've been his natural friendly aura but his was so nice and the conversation flowed smoothly.

"What- Felix!" Chan yelled after the boy who just pulled you away. "Pixie, I thought you wanted me to meet the others?" You chuckle. "You will. I get my best friend first." He reasoned and you laugh as he pulls you into his room. He hugs you again, so tight as if he'll think you'll disappear from him. "Hey, you okay? Thought you were really excited to introduce me?" "I am. Just need a moment." "Oh okay."

Only a few seconds later, he started shaking and his hold on you got tighter. "Lix?" "I s-still can't believe I'm hugging you...th-that you're here..." He whispers before shifting, you barley see his face as his arms go around your neck and he's tightening his grip, you take the signal and tighten your own arms around his waist to pick him up and let his legs wrap around you. "Lixie?" "I-I wish we could be together forever." You knew he didn't mean it in the way you'd mean it but you smile nonetheless. "C-Can you...I wish y-you could stay h-here, now that y-you're here I don't w-want you to leave." "Aw, Pixie...I'm sorry."

He sniffs, pulling back to look at you. You were gonna put him down but could feel his legs were gonna collapse if you did when you moved your hands to hold him better. "Felix..." He was crying, moving one of his hands to wipe away the tears before he moved his legs and you sat him down. "I'm sorry." "It's okay, come here."

You move to his bed, sitting down and moving your legs enough for him to sit on the floor in front of you. He does as told and sits in front of you. You take off his beanie, putting it to the side before combing your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp. He hums contentedly and leans against your knee, you smile down at him before speaking. "Can I wash your hair like when we were kids?" "Only if I can with you." "Of course. I can also braid your hair after too."

You guys move to the bathroom, Felix holding your hand as you follow and a few of the boys watch after. "Are they friends?" Chan slaps Seungmin's arm with a scolding look on his face. "They are..." "but?" "but when we talked in the car and he was telling a story about Felix...I think Mn sees him as more."

You're sat on the toilet and Felix is laying on your lap, head over the tub and running under the faucet. He's talking about any little thing that comes to his mind as he points at his products. You caught yourself when you had slowed down massaging the product through his blonde strands and just listened to him talk cause the temptation to lean down and kiss his forehead was almost too much.

When it was your turn, you laid across the toilet while Felix kneeled next to you, using his products on you. He told you to tell him what you've been doing but you just stared at him without realizing. You did speak but it was slow and you paused a lot, just watching him. You noticed that there was a dust of blush of his freckles but you took that as just being in a warm room.

You dried eachothers hair and you sat on the edge of the tub and began french braiding his hair, he almost fell asleep before you finished and switch spots with him. The braid was kinda sloppy and he didn't really like it so he took it out and put your hair in his usual updo.

You guys walked out, no one was in the living room anymore and he pulled you to the couch, putting on a movie you thought was random until you heard the familiar sound of the movie you and Felix would watch nonstop as kids.

He sat you on the couch before running off then coming back with a blanket and a couple snacks. "You really had tonight planned." "Well, kind of. The cafe plan I had fell through from other reason but I thought just bringing you here was a better idea."

He sat close to you, crossing his legs as the movie began and you lean back, feeling really happy being with Felix again as you let Felix cover you up with the blanket he brought in.

Half way through the movie, Felix leans on your shoulder and takes your hand into his, playing with your fingers while his attention was still on the movie. You took the opportunity and held his hand in yours and laid down, pulling him with you to lay with you. "I might cry if we get cozy cause you can only stay for one day and we can't stay this way." He says as he leans above you. "Then I'll hold you the whole time, trust me I've been trying not to cry since you first hugged me when we got here."

He smiles, laying on your chest as you wrap your arms around his waist and shoulders, hugging him tightly in return to him snuggling further into you, his hand resting on your heart and you hope he can't feel how fast it's beating.

You subconsciously rub his back, the movie taking your attention back and it's not until the happy ending that you notice Felix is asleep, not hearing his usual comment of how adorable he always thought the end of the movie was. The end credit song plays as your eyes take in his features.

You move your hand from his back and up to his face, moving a loose strand of hair to the side before your finger traces over his freckles, a barely there touch so you don't wake him up as you move again and you get so lost in your thoughts about Felix you don't realize your thumb lightly brushing over his bottom lip. "Shit, I love you so much, Pixie..." Your eyes stung as you pull him closer and rest your forehead on his. "I love you more than I realized. You're so adorable and pretty...I'd confess to you if I didn't have to leave tomorrow..." You press your lips lightly to his forehead.

"You're so cute, Pixie..." You wrap your arms around his tightly again, lips pressed to the top of his head as you hold back your tears before you're pulling back as Felix moves. He sits up, you take notice of his glassy eyes when he opens his eyes and a soft coo escapes your lips. "Lixie..." "Please don't leave..." "I wouldn't have anywhere to stay. Plus, I have a job." "It's a fast food place, Mn-ie...And you can stay here." "I couldn't do that to you and your group. I'd get in the way." He shakes his head defiantly. "You wouldn't. I s-swear, you'd be fine h-here." "Even if I stayed here in your room, What would I do? I don't know Korean or anything." "You can help Chan...He knows about your music skills." "That's...too much, Felix. I can't."

Felix suddenly leans down, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss as a noise of shock leaves you before you kiss back. He pushes forward, the soft kiss turning firm, your left hand moves up to cradle his face as he tilts his head and slides his tongue on your bottom lip but before you could let him, he pulled back and laid back on top of you, crying into your shoulder. "I-I'm s-sorry. I-I heard you...I love you, too, Nn. I-I didn't want to c-confess e-either. Th-That's why I want you to stay...a-at least stay for me? Y-You w-won't be in th-the way, I promise, just...please..."

Your tears finally fall as a soft sob slips past your lips and Felix sits back up, kissing your lips before holding your face in his small hands that shake slightly as he wipes your tears. "I-I can stay, Pixie...I will, okay? You swear I won't be in the way?" "I swear to JYP." You can't help but laugh and lean into his hand. "That's big." "I have you after years of being apart, I don't even think I would let you go if you did leave."

"I would have to go back at some point. I only have a bag with a days worth of clothing." "As long as I go with. I really don't want to leave you." "Good, you have to explain to my parents why I'm moving." He laughs, kissing you again and sliding his tongue past your lips to tangle with yours for a moment and a small whimper slips out of him before he pulls back, resting his forehead on yours. "Sorry..." He giggles shyly and all you do is laugh and wrap your arms around him, kissing his cheek before placing your hands on his thighs and sitting up, keeping him on your lap as you turn the tv off then standing up to take him to his room.

You lay him in his bed before falling on top of him. He laughs when you nuzzle into his neck and kiss his jaw, rolling over to move so he nuzzles into your neck instead, your arms squeezing him tightly as his wrap around your middle and he falls back asleep in your arms a little while later. You smile, kissing his forehead before you fell asleep as well.

The next day, Chan realizes he hadn't seen you all morning. It was noon and he hadn't seen Felix either. When he checked Felix's room, he saw you asleep and Felix laying on your chest, looking up at you with adoration as he gently traced your cheek then your bottom lip before lightly kissing your jaw.

Chan smiles, the thought of you having missed your flight gone from his mind as he pieces together that Felix must've told him he could stay. Knowing you, Chan does hope you two could have fun together cause he's aware of your music talents.

For now, he winks at Felix who finally notices him in the doorway before he leaves. Felix smiles into your chest and you subconsciously pull him even closer.

Felix didn't think it was possible, but he's even happier in this moment, in your arms, than he was when he debuted.

[missmonsters2]

Hello, dear author. How are you doing?

I saw your post about emoji and drabble, and I got curious.

Thank you for the opportunity to enjoy another little masterpiece from you. I look forward to reading your story.

💀

Wednesday

hurt - comfort

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader/OFC

Warnings: blood. angst. wednesday feeling things™️. unsure there was any comfort.

Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3

Note: it's the giant skull for meee

Count: 0.9k

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wednesday's hand was shaking, and they never shook. It was like she was having an out-of-body experience as she watched her own fingers tremble. 

It was hard to even make out her own trembling fingers as she tried to keep the blood inside your body.

"Hey, frumpy," your eyes are barely open, but you crack a weak smile at her. "What's got you making that face? Might be the first expression that doesn't suit you."

"Don't talk," Wednesday snaps at you, but even her voice quavers. "Don't—" Wednesday swallows, feeling her eyes burn. "Just be quiet. Uncle Fester is on his way."

"Cool," you swallowed, still smiling at Wednesday's face. You think you can feel her hands pressed on your abdomen. Why do they feel shakier than they usually do? That was so unlike her. "Meeting the family seems a little fast for us, though, doesn't it? Haven't even gone out on one date yet."

"Shut up," Wednesday hisses, her eyes closing at your teasing. She doesn't want to hear your voice sounding weaker with every breath. "Shut up because if you keep talking, you'll die, and if you die—I'll kill you and everything you love."

You can't help but laugh, coughing and wincing in pain as you do. 

It was all the wrong timing, honestly. Wednesday was just perfect at being the wrong time. 

You spend all year with her, exchanging notes and letters because she doesn't have a phone, but you don't know why the relationship with her mother is so strained. 

You risk your life every day by teasing and flirting with her, but you've yet to ask her out on one date. 

You're dying, and she's refusing to leave your side, but you haven't even told her how you feel. 

You know she said that her eccentric uncle is coming, and he was able to save Thing's life earlier this semester, but you're losing too much blood. You can feel it in the way you're becoming delusional, and it almost feels like you're not in any pain anymore. 

You place your hand over hers, feeling how warm they are, which you know is definitely not how her hands usually are, and you can only realize that they're warm because of your blood. 

"Now don't go doing that, I thought you said killing yourself would be the least interesting way you could go."

Wednesday screws her eyes shut at your words. Why can't you just listen to her for once and stop talking? Wednesday's IQ is too high for her to be dense about what your subtle words mean. 

"Don't—" Wednesday starts to say but chokes on something in the back of her throat. Something hot and wet drops from her eyes, landing on her hand and mixing with your blood. 

There are too many things Wednesday wants to say.

Don't say that.

Don't be ridiculous. 

Don't beat me to the punch.

But there's really only one thing that Wednesday thinks will come out of her mouth.

"Hey, are you crying?" Your voice sounds so light, like it is fading away.

Wednesday shakes her head furiously like she can't accept it. "Don't die," Wednesday chokes out. "Don't die. Don't die. Don't. Die."

You lift your hand, and it feels like it's taking everything in you to do so, but you make it to Wednesday's face, wiping a tear away and smearing a line of blood on her face too. 

"Oops," you whisper and pause, your blinking becoming slower. You take your last moment to stare at her face, how her long lashes framed her haunting eyes. "Would you hate me if I said red looks good on you?"

Your hand drops, and your eyes fall shut.

Wednesday frantically looks at your face, and she shakes you as she yells your name. 

The words feel trapped inside Wednesday's throat, melding into a curling scream that she doesn't let out. It would be too painful, and this was a pain Wednesday wasn't prepared to feel. 

There's a running in the distance that shakes the ground as it comes closer to her. A gruesomely tall figure looms over her before it drops something large with a thump. 

"Oh, Wednesday! Oh, is that who you were bringing me to? I thought you were going to tear my flesh apart and eat me! What a shame." 

Wednesday looks up to see Uncle Fester and Enid standing before her. 

Something frantic inside Wednesday forces her to move as she moves to grab her uncle and pull him towards you.

"Save her!" Wednesday cries, and it's so pitifully desperate. "Save her right now, please!"

Uncle Fester looks down at you before looking at his niece. "Oh, kid, you're very lucky you're my favorite."

Wednesday watches her uncle work, unable to tear her eyes away from you. She barely even registers Enid shifting back into a human, moving to grab a discarded jacket on the ground before she comes up and tentatively wraps Wednesday into a hug from the side.

Wednesday allows it.

The pessimistic part of her says you won't wake up when she looks at your motionless body—that you were stabbed too deep when you foolishly moved in to take a blow for Wednesday. 

But when your chest starts moving on its own, and you open your eyes, weakly wheezing, Wednesday feels her eyes flutter in relief as she moves out of Enid's arms and back down on her knees towards you. 

"Hey," you manage to croak out, but Wednesday shakes her head.

"Don't talk," Wednesday moves to grasp your hand, threading her fingers through yours tightly. "Just stay with me."

[bunnys-lil-hideout]

hi this is basically my part 2 of my post about being a small selfship blog

that post was met with a good amount of small blogs being happy about what i had written, meanwhile there was a handful of blogs that still expressed being upset that they were so small despite the work they'd put into their stuff.

i should preface by saying, even though i've had posts get over 300+ notes, and i have over 100+ followers, im really not a big blog, and i do seriously mean that.

yes, my posts about selfship scenarios and positivity do get a good amount of notes, and lots of the tags are very positive and fun to read. but if you do look through my blog, you'll notice those are the only posts that get any attention. all my posts about my personal selfships barely get notes, i barely get any asks even when doing ask games, and i've even tried participating in those "reblog with your f/o and i'll assign them this!" posts and i dont think i've ever gotten a reply.

and yeah, the last one at least has bothered me a bit, and i wish i couldve been part of the fun, but i'll be honest— when i made my selfship blog, i literally made it to be my own corner where i can go gushy gooey crazy over my fictional men. and those posts i made about general selfshipping scenarios and such, those were me just throwing ideas at the walls so i had a place to put them and maybe a few people could see it and feel a lil better. i never intend for my stuff to get a lot of attention because honestly, i'm used to it, so my expectations are always extremely low, and i'm rarely ever upset about it not working out.

but i know for some people, that's not the same for them, and that's completely fair. they work hard on what they make, either through writing, through artwork, comics, animation, even just putting down their thoughts. its natural to have that part of you that wants to be seen and appreciated for what you made, even if it is self-indulgent and not a lot of people will relate to it.

and i am sorry to all of you who are in that boat, feeling like what you made isnt good enough because not many noticed it, that you don't have people asking about your f/os or s/is, that anything you made with love isn't getting that same response. i know it's hard, and honestly i wish i knew what i could say that would help you to feel better. but please just know that you're really not alone, and just because you aren't seen doesn't mean you aren't good enough for this community.

honestly the best advice i could try to give is that you still have a corner for where you can freely express your love for the characters that bring you happiness, and even if you don't have much of an audience, i think it's worth remembering that your f/os are your #1 supporters through and through, no matter what type of attention you get. they're happy that you love to talk about them, draw them, gush about them, even if no one sees it. they're happy that you've dedicated a space just about them.

and even if you don't get much notice out of it, please remember that you still deserve a place to feel safe and free.

it's going to be okay. i promise. please take care of yourself. its what your f/os would want, i'm sure.

[burning-academia-if]

Hi again. If you've been around a while you're probably going to be like "Em, again??" But guess who got sick for the 6th time this year and this time it was a full on chest infection!! It has been three weeks, and somehow I am still Not Free!!

Anyway, BA fell to the wayside this month because it was Velox Fabula time and I've yet to miss a Velox jam (also...chest infection). I also needed to get my sudden and newfound Pirates of the Caribbean obsession out of the way so! I made a short pirate visual novel for the jam and I'm normal again. I also released the prologue of my side IF To Taste Sweet Silver (@sweetsilver-if) just to have it out. Feel free to check it out if you want, but it likely won't be updated for a while as I'm shifting gears back to BA for September!

I don't have much to report but:

UI update should be out in the next week or two depending on how I'm feeling. It won't look like much to y'all since it's more for my sake via cleaning up the code LOL but there were things added (friendship indicators, open dyslexic font option, character page updated, stat page updated, glossary page added) I'm not a graphic designer but it's better organized I think. There won't be an Official Post about it because it isn't new content, but I will make a small announcement when it's out. It'll also include the originally deleted Lars/Zoe/Nevio lunch scene in Chapter 2 as well. Sorry this is taking so long, I just really struggle with the coding side of things which has made the process slow.

Writing in August was also slow, and honestly, I think I really needed those few weeks off not thinking about BA. My inbox being very quiet helped as well, so I really did take a real break from BA. When I opened up the writing doc, I felt a whole lot better about working on BA again, and we have hit 100k words finally!

Anyway, I don't want to lament much, but I did have a personal goal of releasing up to Chapter 4 this year which obviously is Not Going to Happen. It honestly sucks I got sick so often this year because it cut into so much time for creative projects, be it BA or anything else.

I'm not really going to be hard on myself for it, though. I think releasing 3 chapters this year considering everything that kept Going Wrong this year is actually pretty good. I just think its annoying when I know I could have done it but the universe said no instead akfjalfa Anyway, I'm not sure when Chapter 3 will release but I do have a good feeling about September and I think I'll be able to at least get a decent chunk done this month!

Finally, September marks the one year anniversary for this blog and October marks the one year anniversary of BA releasing!! I feel like I literally just started writing this, the fact it's September already is wild.

I was going to do art commissions, but due to surprise car issues, I don't really have the money for that now (next year for sure though!!), so I was thinking of maybe doing character Q&As to celebrate? I've also seen some authors do raffles, but I'm not entirely sure what I would raffle off? Maybe personalized short stories with readers MCs if there's interest in that? I'm not sure yet, but I have a month to figure it out lol

But also thank you to everyone who has followed along!! It's been a really fun time both writing BA and on the blog. I know I say this a lot, but I'm really glad this is such a chill place. It's nice for me the author obviously, but it's also nice because I always want the spaces I have to feel like safe places for others as well so! Thanks again!

Lastly, I normally would end on a little snippet or preview but since most of what I wrote was just the two different openings, I feel like I have nothing fun to tease (or maybe I'm too picky about snippets idk). Hopefully Zoe's bday post tomorrow makes up for it, and I'll post some snippets later in the month instead!

Thanks for reading!

[valdiis]

FFxiv Site Write #1: Steer

((Ah yes, Site Write. That time of year when I fool my followers into thinking this shitpost blog contains FFXIV content.))

The Shirogane manor house was a common gathering place for the monster hunters of Nightingale Company. Sure, everyone had their own places now and they didn't need this home for wayward souls - but somehow folks kept gravitating back to it anyway. Even Aeluan had his own little house on the beach in La Noscea. Although the manor held some bad memories for him now, it held plenty of good too. And it had the easiest access to Arli's cooking.

Aeluan was in the middle of availing himself of some of that cooking - leftovers in the coldbox - when Shev Mhalikh walked into the kitchen.

"If you're looking for the curry," Aeluan said as he closed the oven, "it's going in my belly in ten minutes. You're too late."

"Aww!" Shev groaned. "But Arli's curry!"

"Too. Late."

"I'll wrestle ya for it."

Aeluan gave Shev a squinty eyed look. At one time, he'd have taken that offer in a heartbeat, because even though Shev had been beefy, he was much smaller than Aeluan. That was less so the case now. Add in the tall ears and he actually topped Aelu by a few ilms.

"No deal. I got to it first, it's mine."

Shev crossed his - still beefy - arms across his - just as beefy - chest and pouted. Nevertheless, he watched as Aeluan dug out a bowl and a spoon and a fresh few handfuls of rice to cook on the stove.

Aeluan filled a pot with water and set about cooking rice to put his warmed-up curry on. For a few moments, the two friends stood in the kitchen in companionable silence. Aelu, for his part, was working up his nerve. He had a question. One that had been burning in his breast for days now and he could think of no one else to ask it.

"Hey Shev?" he blurted out as he stirred the rice gently.

"Yeah, Blue?" By this time, Shev was leaning a hip on the counter, arms still folded, as he watched his friend cook.

"You're into polyamory." It was a bald yet true statement. Aeluan didn't see Shev roll his eyes at it. "So. Hypothetically. What would you do if you came across two people already in love who showed interest in you?"

A brow shot up nearly as high as Shev's erect ears. "Tha's not a question I expected from ya. Why d'ya ask?"

Aelu quite studiously did not look up from his rice. "Just curious. What would you do?"

"I don't know," Shev answered honestly. "I've never come across a situation like tha'. Each one's unique."

"I know. Besides, I'm just asking what you'd do. Being a polyamorous person and all."

Shev studied Aeluan for a long moment. "Hypothetically," he deadpanned. He didn't believe it for a second. For his part, Aeluan didn't notice that fact. He was oblivious to Shev's disbelief. He was glad, though, that he didn't have ears like an Elezen to blush and give away his thoughts. Truth be told, the answer was extremely important to him. As his friend suspected, it was not a hypothetical question.

"Mmhm."

"I'd really have to get to know 'em an' see if it was a real interest, y'know?"

Aeluan stopped stirring for a second too long.

"Who'd ya meet?"

And that tell-tale blush that would've shown on ears (if he had them) found purchase on his tanned cheeks instead. "Nobody. It's just hypothetical," Aeluan said as he tried to steer the conversation away from reality.

"Mmhm." A moment of silence passed. "Is this abou' tha' courtesan Kismet mentioned? He said somethin' abou' you takin' a fruit basket somewhere?"

The big Raen made an undignified squeaking noise, like a mouse being trod upon. It sounded a bit like "No!"

Shev chuckled and shook his head. "Talk it out with 'em. Communicate. Tha's the biggest part. Make sure everybody's on th' same page, y'know?"

"But what if they belong together?"

"An' ya think ya wouldn't?"

"Hypothetically."

Shev snorted softly. "It's yer road t' walk, Blue. Ya won't know 'til ya talk it out with 'em."

The little timer next to the oven dinged and Aelu set aside the rice in favor of pulling out the reheated curry pot.

"Are ya sure there's not enough t' share?"

"I've seen how much you eat, Shev!"

(Shev belongs to @chocoblep!)

[beanghostprincess]

I saw the strawhats chronic pain asks and had a moment of CROSS GUILD CHRONIC PAIN-

Crocodile is an amputee. Like. Canonically. Phantom pains.

Mihawk has HELLA light sensitivity vibes ((I Gift him,,,,, my migraines))

And Buggy? Oh my favorite little punching bag, I bet the spatial awareness necessary for his DF must he OFF THE CHARTS, not to mention bomb making, harmful chemicals, etc, I feel it in my bones that he has an autoimmune disorder of some kind and also migraines bc the highest flattery I can give is projection.

Ignore this if you wanna, t'was just a Thought, love your blog, Bean!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡

YAY CROSS GUILD ASK I AM IN SUCH A CROSS GUILD MOOD LATELY YESYESYESYES!!!!!!!! And I'm making this romantic because if I don't make cross guild gay I might die. Thank you.

Okay, so what I'm hearing here is that they keep their lights real low on their shared tent, and whenever they have meetings: At the start of their business relationship, they're still learning how to get used to being together. Buggy is used to stage lights but only for a while and he doesn't want these two to know another weak spot of him (also the pain around his whole body is killing him sometimes), so he tries to deal with the migraines and being uncomfortable because he knows that complaining will only lead to these two using him as a punching bag. But lucky for him, Mihawk does mention one day that he hates brightness (because edgy vampire can't say 'my head fucking hurts' like a functional human) and so he says something about candles. Buggy is afraid they might set the tent on fire but he prefers this over the headaches. Crocodile doesn't give a fuck about this, honestly. Then, they start growing closer and y'know, I'll just skip to them dating- They're dating. They share a tent there at Karai Bari. And now it's something to do instinctively? Like they just keep the lights low or light up some candles and they just live like that. Whenever they're on a ship they do this too.

Following what I just said, they're affectionate but like, in a weird way. Because, y'know, look at them. Buggy ends up crying and complaining about his headaches and also when his body won't stop hurting. He's a drama queen, of course, a diva. He lives flashily. Cries flashily, too. He always curls up beside Crocodile so the big big comfy man can provide him some comfort and warmth and pats on the head or something. Crocodile just runs his hook through his hair softly and lets him be annoying for a while until he falls asleep on top of him. If he has to do something he just??? Won't do it??? He's a pirate but he isn't a fucking monster. One day Mihawk catches them and they share that look of understanding that only cat owners understand, because God (Nika is the only one I believe in, something something amen) is watching and if you dare to move when a cat's in your lap, you go instantly to hell. On the other hand, when Buggy cries and Mihawk is the one around, he gives him some painkillers and turns off the lights completely to then read Buggy one of his books. He does this without saying a word and the first time this weird, silent sign of affection happens, Buggy is speechless. And also, yes, Mihawk can read in the dark perfectly well because he's a cat. He sees in the dark. I even think Buggy can see his gold eyes staring at him. They're like the headlights of a car. Oh, and Mihawk deals with his migraines in perfect silence but when it's a bad day he gets into a very irritable and irascible mood. Most people would be complaining about it but at least this way he's more talkative? Somehow? He's a bitch to Buggy for a while and then they just talk shit about other people together while Crocodile makes a comment like "If you're well enough to complain, you're well enough to continue worki-" and it's, like, the and only time Buggy instinctively throws a pillow at him to shut him up. Never again, though. Scary mafioso-looking boyfriend.

Now that we're talking about Crocodile, the phantom pains: They stress the fuck out of him. They're painful and uncomfortable and he wants to strangle somebody. On a good day, that somebody isn't Buggy. And on a bad day, Buggy really tries to be the sweetest fucking thing on earth by making everything comfortable for him and disappearing right away. Maybe he starts an argument with Mihawk for something stupid but they make up later, it's fine. But, you know what? Sometimes he needs comfort and somebody to distract him too, so one day (when Buggy is about to disappear for hours so he doesn't end up suffering the consequences of staying too long with him) he tells Buggy to stay. The clown is frightened, but he does what he's told and- And it's surprisingly sweet? Crocodile just tells him to talk to him. Explain something. Anything. Complain about the fucking weather or tell a joke. Anything. And Buggy is genuinely surprised but ends up either talking shit about people or telling him anecdotes or just reading him the paper. And Crocodile seems to like it??? A surprise for both, really, but the man actually likes having the clown around because it is working really well as a distraction and when Buggy is not being annoying Crocodile realizes why he loves him. He loves him when he's annoying too, though, he bullies him out of love. Sometimes he just tells Buggy to come sit on his lap and stay there and Crocodile is still in pain but somehow being with the clown makes him feel better. Mihawk tries to be comforting on these days too but it's more of a "you ought to rest, otherwise you'll be irritable all afternoon and you cannot keep frightening the subordinates" type of silent care than anything.

Also, I want to add Crocodile almost murdering a man one day because they were doing business with him on his ship and he had a lot of lights on (when he was asked not to) and both Mihawk and Buggy were visibly uncomfortable the second they entered the room. I love protective Crocodile. He looks like he'd just murder men without any remorse for talking shit about the other two. I like it.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I like your blog, we've been mutuals for years. But blogging about the met gala when there are children dying in Gaza? Fuck the met gala and your celebrity worship

at what point have I made it seem like I don't care about/support what's happening in gaza? I don't share a lot about it, but that's because most of what I see have graphic images and videos attached to the posts, and while I understand the thought process behind sharing them to make it seem more real to people, I'm uncomfortable with it because I know that if I was in that situation, vulnerable and injured or dead, I wouldn't want people gawking at me online just so they can pat themselves on the back for 'suffering in solidarity' by making themselves uncomfortable and miserable looking at me. I'm trying to be respectful. I've still reblogged things about gaza though. but honestly, if you've been following me for years, you'd know I'm a pacifist and wouldn't need me to make a statement saying I don't support people being killed. my God, dude.

also, celebrity worship? I can't even tell you who half the people at the met even were. I just like fashion. I post about a bunch of different things on this blog, and you haven't complained about that, so where's the threshold for things people are allowed to enjoy while bad things are happening in the world? fashion is off limits, but doctor who isn't? I can still post about musicals and not support murder, but aesthetic pictures are on par with launching a bomb myself? I truly hate to break it to you, but sharing links on tumblr is not going to fix this situation. denying yourself any shred of entertainment or enjoyment does not give you a moral high ground. what's happening is horrendous, but even if this is somehow magically peacefully solved tomorrow, there will still be other atrocities happening elsewhere in the world. that's unfortunately just how life goes. in no world am I saying we shouldn't care about every single atrocity that happens, I'm just saying if you can't find some time to be happy in your own life just because bad things are happening to others, you will never truly live a life at all. it sucks! but that's how it is. it's like when someone close to you dies, and the first time you laugh after you've started grieving feels like you're betraying them. but you aren't betraying them for continuing to live, just like you aren't betraying anyone else in the world who's suffering just because you don't spend 24/7 thinking and talking about them.

I do truly, genuinely, hope this all comes to a peaceful end, and soon. I'm not naive enough to believe for certain that it will. but I do know, at the end of the day, people are already aware of it. people know what's going on. sharing photos of dead and mutilated babies will not make any difference. you, and I, and everyone else online are not going to personally save gaza. pressure needs to be put on the people who can actually do something to make a change, and they don't care about what's online. arguing with people because you don't perceive them as doing 'enough' isn't going to accomplish anything other than getting them to a point of making them eye roll whenever they see you post, because at the end of the day, unless you're literally a top politician, you are doing the exact same amount to help as someone who reblogs less posts than you. sorry.

[watercolourcritters]

How have you found so much engagement on social media? I’ve really struggled to get my art out there.

Your art is beautiful, but I’ve also seen other accounts with beautiful art with much more or less followers and engagement. I don’t really understand it and I was wondering if you had any insights. Thank you

Hi there!

So - very long reply incoming - I have a couple of thoughts on what has worked for me, but I also wanted to break down what engagement actually looks like and means, because I think it is very easy to look at a post with a couple hundred notes and think "wow, they must have a huge following."

I think it is also very easy to look at someone's art and go, "well, it's good, but why is it getting engagement when mine isn't." Which - well, more below - but isn't really how online engagement works.

1) What does well on tumblr? I think it's helpful to recognize what kind of my art, specifically, gets a lot of engagement. My art that gets Tumblr engagement - reblogs and likes - is almost exclusively my encouragement style art (simple art with an animal and some text), which hits 3 boxes: cute, animals, and text that is either funny or meaningful.

However - my more traditional art styles? Canvas art and watercolour? Rarely hits above 30-50 notes on Tumblr. The same goes for my fanart. It's just straight up not as popular.

And it varies between platforms. On Instagram, all of my art is typically between 25-50 notes. On twitter, it's only fanart that gets notes. It varies, and it depends on the community you've embedded yourself in.

Above all though - what gets notes on Tumblr is a bit of a crapshoot, and reflects little on the quality of the art. It depends on who reblogs it, how big their following is, etc. Sure, art quality sometimes helps - but I see fucking amazing art every day that has very minimal engagement. There is no sure-fire way to get engagement, and the shit that does the BEST for me in regards to sales has almost no notes here.

2) Engage in the community

I think something that I'm still learning is that for the most part, no matter the platform, people will encourage and engage with your art more if you're a part of the community. And that requires you to engage, too.

I am not always good at this one, because this is not my main blog - but I get a lot more followers and engagement when I also reblog other art & posts, because most Tumblr folks want to follow blogs that make their dashes richer on the regular in a variety of ways, rather than every so often with just art.

Reblog things. Like and comment on other people's posts. Make friends. Be a part of Tumblr's community, rather than expecting community to grow around you.

(Note: This is not me saying you don't engage, I don't know anything about your activity on tumblr. Just, y'know, engaging helps get engagement.)

3) Having a brand??

Honestly, I kind of hate this one, because I'm an artist who likes trying lots of new styles and fucking around with different things. BUT, in regards to social media, having a recognizable brand/style makes people more likely to follow you.

For example - my encouragement style art, with plain white background, an animal, and encouragement text, is my most recognizable style on IG, Tumblr, and in my local art community. Probably 95% of my followers on Tumblr are for/from that style of art. It is what it is.

My caveat to this is - while having a brand helps, don't let it limit what you do! Try new things, experiment, etc.

3) Recognize what "lots of engagement" does and does not do

So - it probably looks like I have a lot of engagement on Tumblr, because I have many posts with 500+ notes. But, honestly? I am pretty small fries as an artist. I really, really struggle to get engagement beyond this platform, and even what I get here is pretty minimal in comparison.

I don't have a ton of followers - I've had this blog for 2.5 years, and am currently sitting at around 525 followers. My encouragement art on Tumblr regularly gets hundreds of notes. The exact same art on IG, where I have a similar following, gets typically between 25-50 notes.

However - Tumblr, where I get a lot more "engagement," does not translate to art sales or commissions. Or at least, it very rarely does. On the other hand, Instagram, where I have much less engagement, gets me both more direct sales and commissions, because more people on there know me personally.

TBH, doing local craft style markets has been the most helpful thing in regards to actually making any money off my art. Engaging in my local community has also been the best for connecting with other artists, getting encouragement for my art, and validation.

4) Recognize that engagement means very little about the quality of your art

Y'know, I've gotten inbox mail before that is essentially "your art is shit how come it's getting notes." People see my art (especially my more minimal stuff), think about their own art, and get frustrated that they aren't getting notes.

And I mean, I get it! I think we've all had similar thoughts at certain points. Kind of the "my art is at least that good, how come they have such a big following and I don't"?

But it is really, really helpful to disengage the connection between "good" and "engagement" in your head. Because engagement means very little about the quality of something, and is more tied into "right time, right place, right audience" type of shit.

It's also really helpful to do as an artist, because otherwise it becomes really, really easy to do one of two things:

a) "well, I'm not getting any notes, therefore I'm a bad artist/I make bad art."

Or

b) "Other people getting notes is unfair to me, because my art is good, and I deserve more notes."

I've done it. You've probably done it. We've all had those thoughts/feelings. But they are unhelpful thoughts/feelings, and doing whatever you can to nix both thought patterns is helpful as fuck.

Because a) engagement means nothing about the quality of your art and b) other people getting engagement means nothing about the quality of your art.

Engagement is great! It's nice! I want every artist to have tons and tons of engagement! But an artist getting notes reflects nothing on your art.

And - it's really important to find ways to feel good about your own art that have nothing to do with engagement. If it's the external validation you seek, try and find one or two friends to send your art to who will tell you how much they love it. Start a spreadsheet of the tags/notes that people leave on your art. I dunno, get creative.

But find ways to validate your art that have nothing to do with other people, too. Create something that you don't share with anyone. Spend time making art that's just for you and your own enjoyement. Make something that makes you laugh or smile. Above all, set aside time to fall in love with your own art.

This got really long, but:

TLDR: Fuck, buddy, I don't know lol. What does well on tumblr varies, but people like silly, encouraging, cute shit. Build a consistent style. Engage in community. Know that engagement doesn't necessarily mean much, both in regards to art sales and in regards to the worth and value of your art.

Good luck out there!

[headspacedad]

so you're ready to socialize

You've got your blog set up. You've posted or reblogged something. Your icon isn't a faceless orange shape. You're no longer in danger of being blocked on sight as a bot.

Now what?

I recently got an ask in my inbox for help with this whole 'tumblr' thing. The person that asked me had a lot of the basics down so I focused on expanding your social circle - except it took me so long to write that I saved it in my drafts to add to and only then found out that once its in your drafts you can't reply privately.

so - Imma post it here without the actual ask so if the person didn't want to be mentioned they won't. Let's go!

First off, doing what you're doing right now by sending me an ask is a great way to get the ball rolling. Reaching out to other people and engaging them is a big part of how you can build a circle on tumblr.

You can do that with inbox messages.

You can do that with DM/PMs (the box that pops up to the side where you can have real time text conversations).

You can do that by reblogging other people's posts and leaving notes in the tags commenting about the post (most posters read these, though they're more for your followers to get your thoughts on a matter, like whispering in a movie theater except without the dirty looks)

reblog their post and add your own comments in the body of the post, basically chaining a response to their post, usually used when you've got something that adds to the original post like a continuation of the joke or more facts, etc.

and you can comment on the posts via the little speech bubble next to the reblog button, which is kind of like replying personally to the post (interacting with the poster themselves).

Not everyone will automatically engage in response. Some people are just here to chill and don't want to be social (some days I know I don't have the brainpower for it). A lot of people do want to be social though and so the more you comment outward the higher your chances of finding other people you can jive with. A good way to make your chances better at finding someone that will back and forth with you is over shared interests. We're a very interest based site. So find something you're excited about - maybe its a hobby like knitting, maybe its a streaming series like Good Omens, maybe its hamsters, maybe its Elizabethan neck ruffs! Whatever it is that you're interested in punch the words that will get those kinds of results into tumblr's search bar and look at the posts that come up. I tend to search by 'newest' instead of 'most popular' because it guarantees me people that are currently interested in whatever I am, who are actively putting their posts out there for others to find. Often if you start reblogging someone's posts, they'll see it and check out your blog. If you really want interaction though, the best way to go is one of the above bullet points, especially inbox or speech bubble commenting. It shows you want to talk about something they want to talk about too. A lot of times this is a great way to get more interaction with others and widen your circle (as well as find new stuff about something you enjoy). It might be slow going, I still haven't figured out what the magic is that gets someone a blow up of followers overnight, especially not the all important holy grail of Interactive followers but slow and steady still builds a good group of people you can enjoy sharing things everyone's interested in and it keeps growing over time.

This also works in reverse. A good chunk of my followers (friends honestly) come from my days in the Voltron fandom. I was VERY active making posts while the show was airing. Lots of fanfiction, lots of meta, lots of speculation, just lots of being loud and excited (and then loud and not excited). A lot of other people were interested in VLD too at the time and they found me and bounced off my ideas with ideas of their own and things really ballooned. To this day, a huge hard core of my social group are ex-VLD fans who have moved on to other things (mostly) but still hang around because we built that core and we enjoy seeing what the others in the group have moved onto and found to share with the team. So, again, find your interests and make posts about them so that other people with the same interests can find you. The more popular something is the more attention its going to get - but also the easier it is to get lost in the shuffle of everyone talking about a thing. Not every post is going to get responses. Sometimes I'll post something I think people will enjoy and get crickets. Sometimes everyone and their cousin jumps onboard. Don't get discouraged. DO use the tags. tumblr sucks when it comes to finding things in the tags but its still worth doing because sometimes, randomly and with no pattern, it doesn't suck. The first five tags are the really important ones. Make sure you put the biggest details there. For instance if you're making a post about the One Piece live action from Netflix your first five tags should be something like: one piece, opla, netflix, zoro, swords are cool. You want people looking for One Piece posts about Zoro and his swords to be able to find you easily. And, once they find you, hopefully to engage you about Zoro and his swords.

There are a lot of ways to find other people to interact with on tumblr. One of the pleasures of the site is you get to take things, for the most part, at your own pace and level of comfort. Just remember, the more active you are interacting with other people and their posts, the wider your circle will grow. Its not a 100% success rate, like I said, a lot of people are just here to vibe after a long day of having to be socially 'on' all day, but a lot of people are happy to find other people to get to natter about interests with. Do what you're comfortable with and before you know it, you'll have a group of people that interact with your posts, and you, regularly!

[multi-fandom-agereg]

thank you for 300+ followers! (Long post)

thank you for 300+ followers?? Holy crap that's a lot of people!

(smiling friends oc: Noah he/it.) he can't spell. But he tried! 🖍️

Seriously though, thank you guys so much for the support on the blog. 300+ is insane and I never thought I'd get that far.

This blog is almost 2 years old, and I've been active on it for a year creating content for the agere community. In the beginning I didn't have a plan for what I wanted this blog to be. This blog was first created because when I first stumbled onto Tumblr, Tumblr made me create an account to view more content I wanted to see. I remember the first thing I've ever searched on here was Sally face agere content.

I left tumblr alone after this, but something told me to get back onto Tumblr and I did. And now I'm here. I do not really check my followers to see how long they've been following me, but to everyone who followed me from the very beginning, thank you.

Id also like to specially shout out to @dragon-queen21 , @xdeadxxeyes , @beaistiny and @red-panda-agere

To Mayliz/dragon-queen21 : to the most amazing person I've ever met, thank you for sticking around for as long as you did. You've always engaged with my content and I can't think of a post you haven't liked. You like my posts all the time, and when I was at my lowest at times you were there to comfort me (even if I didn't know what to say, but i still read them) I'm happy we've met and became mutuals. To someone who shared interests with me at the time (one piece) to someone who I've came around to call a friend, thank you. I can't express it through actions, but I hope words mean something

To xdeadxxeyes: to my pretty cool mutual, thank you for sticking around as well. I don't exactly remember how we met, but I'm pretty sure we met around the time we were posting total drama island stuff. You are a pretty cool person and you're very nice to me and I'm so happy we've got the chance to meet. :] also another plus, we both like Jjk and resident evil 🙌 so that's awesome !! My DMS are always open if you'd like to ramble about those topics with me (also by that way I'm able to get to your requests faster) since i know you requested some stuff 🏌️

To Beatrix!: we met when we were both posting Scott Pilgrim content! We aren't mutuals but I adore your content and was honored when you requested me awhile back. You seem like a very sweet person and I'd like to thank you for requesting me a few times. Your blog is very comforting and I love looking through it sometimes. Your posts are always a delight to see when you post/reblog/etc:}

to Nebby: I'm not sure when we met exactly, but I do know that we both have an interest in Honkai star rail 🦸 you guys were just amazing to talk to. When we commissioned you guys , y'all were very patient with us. And honestly? We were grateful you were 🤍 your art is so yummy and your commissioned art piece for us is one of our favorite pieces we have. Your art that you made for us is in a personal folder of ours and we can't wait to commission you again in the future. (To everyone who reads this, please go show your support! Their art is so good and they're a delight to talk to imo)

and most importantly, I'd like to thank the rest of my mutuals and my followers. Thank you for staying around to see all the dumb posts I post. I don't know how to thank you for all your constant support on this blog. This blog feels very personal to me, and I can't believe it's almost 2 years old now. Happy (early?) birthday to this blog) 🎉

[sewmice]

Hai as a decently new utapri fan I wanted to ask your opinion on how new fans should get into utapri after finishing the anime. Should they play through the otomes games or maybe try listening to the Masterpiece shows instead?

Welcome to Utapri! I hope you're enjoying the ride so far! And as someone who has been here for 12 years, welcome to Utapri hell, this is your life now! (with love of course)

Since the Masterpiece shows are all alternate universes/acting, it doesn't technically matter? So the real question is, do you like the idol side or the romance side more? Idol side, go for the masterpiece shows. Romance go for the games. And honestly switch around as you please. Just get to SOME game knowledge at some point because that's where you really learn about the boys after all. Personally it's best to know at least a little from everything.

Also the next most important thing will be whether you know Japanese or not. Because currently the anime, movies, and Starish special are the only things available in English. So what you can enjoy is more limited. Shining Live was in English for it's lifespan, and has some archives out there. Live Emotion we can only hope will have an English version but we do not know currently.

Now my answer to assist gets real long so gonna put it under a cut for everyone's sanity.

If you know Japanese, absolutely go enjoy the otome games, all of which have updated ports on the Switch! The release order and thus suggested order would be Repeat, Amazing Aria and Sweet Serenade, Debut, All Star, and finally All Star After Secret. And one day we'll have Dolce Vita.

If you want Quartet Night, while you meet them in Debut, their routes start with All Star. Ringo and Ryuuya have routes in Sweet Serenade and All Star if you're looking for them. Mitsuo in Amazing Aria is well....you'll see.

If you don't know Japanese, I still suggest looking into the games, but your options are more limited. ShiningWonderland has a fantastic crew pushing out translations. They're working on Repeat for Starish and All Star for QN currently. Couple of the routes are finished for at least one ending and others seem to be nearing completion. But I can't speak for that team past that. They are all wonderful people though!

If you don't mind getting a shortened, not amazing experience. There are some old summaries floating around from Breadmasterlee. Those, plus some friends who could understand enough, were how I learned parts of the games back in the day. Not the preferred experience though.

You could also technically struggle your way through with like Google Lens translation? Definitely not recommended though.

As for the masterpiece shows, again if you know Japanese, just enjoy them. If you wanna know what order they released in, the sets were as follows: Masquerade Mirage, Tenka Muteki no Shinobimichi, and Joker Trap Bloody Shadows, Pirates of the Frontier, Every Buddy!, and Polaris Lost Alice, Trios, and The Forest of Lycoris Dreaming of OZ, Never Again Neverland, and Faust Last Cantata

I know that next to last set, the Shining Masterpiece Shows, have translations by Kanasmusings. You can also find translations for some other dramas there, and subtitles for a majority of the stage plays (you will need your own file or DVD/BD).

The most recent Dramatic Masterpiece Shows seem to be works in progress at the moment. I know utapri-translations-uuuu is working on Heavens! And the CDs can be found in my masterlist.

The older ones I don't know off the top of my head if translations exist at all.

There are also Discord servers amongst the community, some public and some private, with resources and amazing people. But I'm not sure on how appropriate it would be to post the public ones. They don't allow piracy so as much as I push buying legally, uh, understandably linking from my blog publicly feels wrong. You can very likely find said discords via the Twitter fandom. Or talk to me in DMs.

This is a lot of info I know. Trying to cover as many bases as I can off the top of my head! Enjoy Utapri!